The Smoke Detector

Murphy’s law is an adage that broadly states: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

This time it’s not so much that it’s broken, but the timing of the need for a new battery.

This week has been tough. There has been a lot of puke and diarrhea.  There have been too many hours of crying and fussing and not enough hours of peaceful sleep.

So after getting everyone medicated and down for the night, I was optimistic that I, too, would get some well-needed sleep.

I headed up to bed and read for a while, then drifted off into sleepy bliss.  I will admit that I did get a very good chunk of sleep.  I slept for close to six hours, which is practically unheard of for me.

Something woke me up.  I heard a *chirp*.  In my brain I tried to rationalize that I was imagining it.  Or that it was the yippy dog that lives behind us.  *chirp*  There it was again.  Still in a sleepy fog, I thought maybe it’s a cricket.  *chirp* I can sleep through a cricket.  Nobody is awake.  Nobody is crying.  The dog is blockaded in my bathroom where there is only tile.  I am not getting up to chase a cricket away . *chirp*.   So I counted to see how often it was making noise.  *chirp*  Twenty seconds.  There is no way I can fall back asleep in 20 seconds.  By now I am awake and keenly aware that it is cold outside of my flannel sheets and blankets.   *chirp*  I am now fairly certain it’s not a cricket, rather it’s the smoke detector.  *chirp* CRAP!  I have to go change the battery.

So I roll out of bed and stand in the hallway trying to determine which one is chirping.  *chirp*  It’s not the one outside my bedroom.  Please dear God, don’t let it be the one at the end of the hall by the girls’ rooms. *chirp*

WHEW! It’s on the one downstairs.  So I head downstairs, get the stepstool.  Climb to the top step and try to figure out how to open the darn thing.  There is writing on it, with directions I presume.  *chirp*  DAMN! It’s loud when it’s 12 inches from my ear.  I don’t have my glasses on so I have no idea what the directions say.  *chirp*  I know I need to get this figured out.  My toes are frozen by now standing on the metal stepstool.  I can barely reach the thing anyway. *chirp* By the grace of God I pushed something and a little door opened and there was the battery compartment. *chirp*

I go back down the stepstool, find a 9-volt battery and pray that I remember which way it’s supposed to go.  *chirp*  I put the battery in, close the trap door and count.  *chirp*  Are you freaking kidding me?  So I climb back down the stepstool, go upstairs get my glasses on, go back downstairs.  *chirp* SHUT-UP, stupid smoke detector.  Climb back up on the step stool and find the button that says, “Push to Hush.”  Seriously, was someone trying to be cute with that one? It doesn’t even rhyme for pete’s sake.  *chirp*  I push the dumb button and count.  Wait! I got to 30 and there was no chirp. Hallelujah!  No more chirping.

I put the stepstool away, climb back in bed, just start to snuggle in and then I hear, “Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyyy… Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyyy… Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyyy”  Oh well at least nobody can take away my almost six hours of sleep.

And yes, if we are healthy enough I will be going to the store to buy more 9-volts and changing all the batteries today.