I should know by now to not ask the Big One a question that I am not prepared to hear the answer to.
As we were cuddling in the rocking chair before bedtime, she let out a huge sigh. I asked her what such a big sigh was for. To which she replied:
“I just miss Daddy. I like Daddy more than I like you.”
OUCH! That just cut straight to the heart of things. As much as it hurt me, we talked a little bit more about how that was okay and the other things she was feeling. It was heartbreaking to listen to her tell me that she really misses Daddy doing tubby time, and reading to her. She misses rocking and singing with Daddy. She misses playing with Daddy. She misses going with Daddy to get a haircut. She rattled off several others things that she misses about Daddy.
I was taken aback by some of it. I know we always talk about how resilient kids are, and I do know that she will be okay and she will get through this. But it was very sad for me to realize just how much of an impact Daddy’s absence has had on her. And it scares me to think about how she is going to adjust as time goes on. I hope and pray that it gets easier as the days go on. But at the same time, I worry that she will lose that unending devotion to Daddy.
As much as I want things to be easier for her, I don’t want her to ever forget how much fun Daddy is. We are so very far away from when he will be home, I fear how that much time apart will skew her memories of Daddy.
We are fortunate that the location he is in participates in the United Through Reading program. Through a partnership with the USO, the Husband can record a 30-minute video once a week of him reading books to the girls.
We received our first video on Saturday. It was so fun to watch their eyes light up when they saw Daddy on the TV. And to be able to hear his voice and see his mannerisms did wonders for their psyche (mine too!).
As I tucked the Big One in, she clutched her Daddy doll and I did my best to reassure her that even though Daddy was far away physically. He is very close in our hearts. And that Mommy and Daddy both love her very much no matter what happens or where we go.
September 21, 2009 at 3:51 am
Oh my goodness! This made me cry. I have 4 brothers in the Army, 2 with kids. The day my oldest brother found out he was being deployed to Iraq my sister inlaw found out she was pregnant. He was sent off after a knowing his daughter for a month. A year later almost the same situation but he was able to spend 3 months with his son before leaving for Korea. The second time he left his daughter was 2 she stopped talking started waking up in the night crying for her daddy. When he came home his son didnt know who he was and was angry when he walked in to the room. It took about 8 months for things to get better. He finished up his time and did not re-enlist. He now works at an airforce base very close to home. I hope your husband comes back safely from where ever he is being deployed too. Your daughter is very strong for talking about her feelings.
September 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Oh man, that’s so sad. Don’t worry Joyce, she’ll still be Daddy’s girl when he gets home. And she loves you…there’s no way she would be able to tell you you’re NOT her favorite if she didn’t have absolute confidence in your love for her. Take care!